So much has been running through my head lately.
They're not even complete thoughts, just fragments of them.
They're not necessarily negative or depressing, but they're not optimistic or enjoyable either.
I want to sit here and write for hours, but I don't know where to start.
My mind is a mess.
I wish I knew how to clear it.
I want to go for a run, but it's 11pm and I'm not really into rape or mugging..
I want, and need to get away. By myself. For two days.
Sitting in the sun, watching the waves hit my feet.
Thinking about everything, but at the same time, thinking about nothing.
I want to be lifeless, just for a little while. Feel nothing. Think nothing. Do nothing.
Not having to worry about what day or time it is, what people think of me, what my purpose in life is. No thoughts. Just me.
I feel like I'm on drugs, though I wouldn't know what that feels like..
I don't know what I feel.
I'm sorry that this post makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever.
Bleh.
This made sense, girl. You just need some time to yourself and I think everyone craves and needs that. Maybe you can't find the waves at your feet just yet, but take some time in the next few days to sit outside and really think. You owe it to yourself to catch your breath. You've been so busy lately, I mean with all of your hours at work and whatnot, it's hard to stop and think and to really give back to the most important person - yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure if you hold your wish or wishes in your heart and in your head in the next few days, your positivity will increase.
Sometimes feeling nothing is so much easier, even if it's only for a few hours or days. Though not impaired by drugs or alcohol, time alone can leave us breathless and caught up in our own thought - the only thought that matters.
I hope you feel better :) <3 Love you!