My apologies again for my confusing ramble last night.
The whole thing started with me thinking about my grandfather. My dad's dad is an outgoing, positive, funny man. He cracks jokes all the time, is full of energy, and has the cutest old man laugh. A few years ago, they found cancer in his lung. Because of that, they had to cut off half of one of his lungs.. Everything seemed to be going well, until (I believe) around the end of 2009. They found more cancer spots in his lungs. About a month ago, my dad called me with the news that the cancer had spread to his spinal cord. For those of you who don't know much about cancer, once it gets into the bone, it can lead straight to the brain. I saw my grandpa this past weekend, and he wasn't the same man. He's in constant pain, he can't do much, his memory is going, he barely laughed, and he couldn't stay awake for much longer than an hour. It's really hard to see somebody that you love go through all of this.. Before we left, my grandma, aunt and dad talked about funeral arrangements. That was really tough. My grandparents live alone in a cottage somewhere in the country. Although they have friends in their little neighbourhood, I don't see my grandmother having much strength once he's gone. Unlike many people I know, I luckily still have all of my grandparents. I don't want to see any of them go..
Anyways, not only has that been going through my mind since I've left on Saturday afternoon, but a lot of things have changed since I've been home for the summer.
Then, was my future. Last night, I realized that I have no experience in my field. Thankfully, I have my internship in my fourth year that will be very helpful, but I'm not the only university student who's currently studying journalism, and there definitely is not a job for each and every one of us once we graduate. I need to start focusing on getting my foot in the door, and determining exactly what it is I want to do, because I definitely don't want to waste my internship opportunity with something that I completely despise.
I guess these are some of the things that can explain last night's post. I'm feeling a lot better about everything, and am trying to keep my head up.
Smiles are much prettier than frowns :)