I love walking by myself at night with nothing but my ipod. It's so relaxing and really gets me thinking. It's like my own "me" time where I can reflect on lyrics and relationships that I have with people, and well, everything really. Music is amazing.

Zzz

I'm slowly starting a new sleeping schedule so that I don't fail my 8am exam in two weeks [I usually don't wake up until noon.. or later.]

I woke up at 9:45 this morning. I'm amazed with myself.

YUSSS!

Love.

I like the way you're everything I've ever wanted. ♥

Think about it..

Why?

And no, this one cannot be answered with 'why not.'

Honestly, life is so confusing. I have so many question, but I don't think that anybody will ever be able to answer them for me.

Why am I sitting here, in my room full of clothing, using my macbook and listening to my iPod, where I have a cell phone, access to the Internet, to food, to warmth... essentially to everything that somebody in a third world country does not. Why am I here, studying at a University and spending thousands of dollars, when there are so many people who can't even afford to eat a meal per day. They live in houses made of mud, of straw, and here I am complaining that my room is too small, or too ugly. How fucking selfish of me. Of so many of us, actually!

What makes me so privileged to be here while several people are dying in third world countries because they don't have access to things that they NEED for survival; not want, but need. Water, food, shelter, clothing, medicine. Things that I take for granted every single day. I'll complain that I don't have enough clothes when I can go six weeks without doing laundry, or that the fridge is empty when in reality, it's full.

I want to figure out why I'm here, and not over there. I want to know why I got so lucky. Am I here for a reason? To help those who are less fortunate than I? I have no idea.

But I want to do something about it. I want to build schools, homes, wells, churches. I want to help.

It's not fair that I have water, food, heating, electricity, and so many things that I don't NEED, but WANT. I am loved by my family, my friends, my boyfriend. Could you imagine seeing somebody you love pass away because they are malnourished? Probably not, because we're living in Toronto, in Ottawa, not Africa, not India.

I want to make a difference. I don't want to take anything for granted anymore, I no longer want to be selfish or greedy..

I think I've found my new life goal.

Fucking eh!

Oh man.. check out what I just remembered..

The boys are back in town.

Well, I'm not a boy, but Matt is! And we're back in Ottawa for the weekend :)

Though I'm gonna be studying pretty much all weekend, it's nice to clear my lungs of all the smog in Toronto and get away for a couple days.

I surprised my mom by calling her at like 11:30pm telling her my brother was outside the house and didn't have his key or something along those lines. She was so thrown off when she saw me, aha. Nothing like a random trip 5 hours away from school. I should have told her I got expelled or something.

Okay I'm rambling.. and I neeeeeeeed to study.

Love.

:)

How cute are these?!

(Minus his hands & feet look NARST.)

Love.

Heya!

Just thought I should let you know that I feel good!

I'm representing Relay for Life while doing some homework and laundry. Individual assignments are done, and group projects are almost done. Sweet? I think so!

I went out for dinner with my boy and my friends for mine & Kacy's birthday and what I had was so good. Mmm. Love not having to make dinner!

Anyways, I should do some work now.. Not like I haven't done enough this month or anything.

Okay. Homework. Peace.

Love.

I'M LEEEEEEEEEEEGALLLLLLLLL!

IT'S MY NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY [fiiiiiiiinally!]

I'm stoked :)

Dinner & dranking & spending time with Matthew tonight, cannot wait.

Yayyyyy!!

Love.

TWLOHA Day <3

Ps. I don't know why I look so mad?

TWLOHA

Tomorrow, November 13, is To Write Love On Her Arms day.

To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to helping people suffering from depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide find hope.

Writing "love" on your arm or arms tomorrow will help many several people who are currently undergoing hard times feel supported. It will let them know that they are not alone, though it usually seems that way. This day exists in hope that people suffering from depression will be inspired to invest in treatment and recovery.

So tomorrow, November 13, write love on your arms and support the millions of people who are suffering from depression.

Learn more here:

http://www.twloha.com/index.php

Finito!

Stoked on being done my doc. film and tv essay!

Now onto my media structure & policy essay.

Then, doc film group presentation.

Once that's done, media structure & policy group assignment.

After that, study for my second contemporary narrative midterm.

Somewhere in there, Kim Noble will assign a due date for our long feature.. At least I think she will?

Once all of that is done, I get to study for exams.

Christmas break, please come asap. Thanks :)

Love.

Mr. Johnson.

I was browsing through my music library this afternoon when I came across Jack Johnson. I forgot how calming & amazing his music is. I thought it would be helpful while writing my essay, but I was wrongly mistaken. I've been signing along with him for about half an hour now.

I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together.

Oh, and I haven't finished my film essay yet. What a surprise!

Love.

Doc Film, you kill me.

It is officially time to power through my film essay. I plan on finishing it before I go to sleep.

Wish me luck!

Love.

Don't ask.

Random thoughts:

I want some sweet black and white pictures to put on my wall.

Cold cut combo at Subway is NOT good, and will make you feel like shit.

I need some fancier clothes.

I also need more band tees.

I cannot wait until Christmas break.

I'm breaking out hardcore, and I don't know why.

I want to go to a movie soon. It's been way too long.

My boyfriend is awesome.

I'm craving fettuccine alfredo.

My birthday is in six days.

I need to go shower.. so I'm gonna go do that.

Good night!

Love.

Noooooovember.

This month is going to be absolutely nuts.

As much homework as I have to do though, I'm keeping my cool about it all because I know that I'll be able to get through it, pass all of my exams, and then enjoy a month off school hanging out with my besties from back home and potentially make some cash.

It's a great feeling to just relax about everything instead of stressing, and telling yourself "you can do it!" Lame, I know, but seriously, try it. Just don't give up and try your best, because really, that's all you can do.

Oh yeah, my all-time favourite prof, Mike Karapita, is teaching radio broadcasting next semester. I am BEYOND stoked!

Anyways, that's my little rant on school & positivity.

Oh, and I've come to realize that Movember won't be that bad. Sure, my boyfriend will look like a goof, but because it's for a good cause and he hopefully will be collecting donations for it, it's totally worth it. It better be a sweet 'stache babe ;)

Last thing, my 19th birthday is in 11 days, and I have absolutely no intentions of getting drunk. It feels good to say that :)

Okay I'm done!

Love.