Better Together.

There is no combination of words I could put on the postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try because this is your heart and this is
Our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's so much better when we're together

Mmm, so much better when we're together
Yeh, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, it's so much better when we're together

All of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
They'll be gone too, to many things I have to do
But follow these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression, I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeh, so much better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, so much better when we're together

I believe in memories because they look so,
So pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together
We so much better when we're together
We so much better when we're together

Don't release me 'til it's over.

It's 1:30am, and usually, I would hate being up this late writing an essay but today is different.

I'm writing about how fcked up the food we eat is, and listening to some good tunes.

Probably shouldn't have left this until the last minute, but as of now, I don't care.

Talk to me in a few hours / tomorrow in class, and I'll tell you a different story..

I am on page 1 of 5. Ha.

Love.

Message in a Bottle.

A man who sent out a message in a bottle in Newfoundland was found by a woman in Scotland two-three years later.

This is so inspiring!

http://www.thestar.com/news/article/887168--message-in-a-bottle-travels-across-the-atlantic

I'm going to set a goal to send out ten messages this summer with a return address on each one.

I wonder where they'll end up...

I miss you's not enough.

Dear school,

I would appreciate if you could slow down and give me time to breathe. Maybe throw in some good grades in there while you're at it.

Sincerely,

Ashlee

I wish I lived in Spain.

Some nappers in Madrid decided to defend the traditional afternoon siesta by participating in a sleeping competition in the middle of a shopping mall.

Five at a time, they would lay down for 20 minutes, and were observed by a doctor. The doctors would give them extra points for snoring, drooling, or sleeping in funny positions.

The winner got close to $1500.

So funny.

Breathe In, Breathe Out.

Overwhelming is the word that I would use to describe this school year.

Third year is killing me. I feel like I'm in over my head in homework. All I do is try to keep on top of things, but as soon as I get to stand back up, I get pushed over again.

On top of the schoolwork that I have to do, I have a job in residence this year as a resident assistant (RA). The stress that I've accumulated from that (even though it's super fun, and worth it) is unbelievable. It's only one month into the school year, and I feel like I've dealt with so much already.

Also, I failed the first assignment that I got back, so that sucks. I usually do pretty well in school, and even though that's only one mark, I'm super scared that this is how the entire year is going to play out.

Sorry for this huge pessimistic rant, but ahhhhhhh.

hwgwbhirveutbqreitngkbwtekjbt <--- That is how I feel.

I need to get myself out of this funk.

HBD Dallas!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthdayyyyy dear Dallassssssssss, happy birthday to you!

Have a wonderful 30th year of life, you wonderful man! :)

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

:)

As much as I hate feet..

This picture is adorable. ♥

It doesn't matter who you are.

I am nothing short of happy :)

My boyfriend and I came back from a two night camping trip today. We had a really good time just spending time with one-another. Chatting, relaxing, swimming, eating, cuddling, listening to music, and maybeeee a little bit of kissing :$ haha. Seriously though, it was really nice to get away from the world alone with my boy :) I don't think we've ever done that for more than a couple of hours before.

Anyways, I bought his first camera off of him, and I'm really excited to start testing out my photography "skills" haha. That will probably commence tomorrow once I get a memory card, or whatever the CF stands for :P I'm pretty excited! Hopefully I'm not too horrible, and maybe once I get some decent photos, I'll post some!

I move back to Toronto in six days for RA training! I'm so excited! All of the RAs in my building seem to be super chill. I'm stoked to get to know them, and everybody on my floor. It'll be an amazing experience, that's for sure!

Oh, and I'm not sure if I mentioned anything about my Super Nintendo on here. My brother sold both of ours, and I asked him to get one of them back, so he asked the guy if he could have one back. He gave me two really dirty ones, and told me that one of them worked. BUT he didn't give me the proper adapter, so I ordered one, along with some games online. They came in yesterday, and unfortunately, neither of the Nintendos work... Kinda bummed, but I guess I'll just buy the console again. Oh well.

That's all with me! FYI: I probably won't post again until I'm in residence because I'll be busy saying bye to everybody and packing and stuff, so yeah!

Love.

Clowns, bombs, and heart attacks.

So I'm reading the headlines in the Toronto Star, and one of them in particular catches my eye..

"Police say woman robbed bank in clown costume."

Not only that, but she told everybody in the bank that she had a bomb.

HOLY. MOTHER. OF. GOD.

I cannot think of anything scarier. Well, maybe seeing a clown in a sewer (IT reference, anyone?)

But honestly, if I just so happened to be in that bank in Pennsylvania on that particular Friday, I would have had a heart attack. Legitimately. Ashlee would be dead on the floor thanks to that lady.

People need to be more considerate of people's fears before they go out and dress up as clowns to get something done. Haha, this part is totally a joke, obviously.

BUT COME ON!

Maybe I'll sleep when I am dead.

Hello!

I hope everybody is enjoying their summer! Though it's slowly coming to an end, I couldn't be more excited! I go back to school in two weeks and one day for training, and my last day at work is in five days :)

My grandfather is still hanging on, and I'm planning on going to see him again on Thursday.

Though that's always in the back of my mind, I've been in a really good mood lately. Things with my boy are going really, really well :) We're going camping next week for a couple of days just to get away from everything and spend some quality time together before our hectic year starts up.

I've only seen a few of my friends this summer, cause I've either gotten blown off or plans fell through with the people that I used to hang out with religiously. Oh well, c'est la vie!

Oh! And Leviana, you were totally in my dream last night. We were taking a school bus to go to some hotel.. It was weird. I think we were on some sort of sports team haha. I miss you lady! And I'm super stoked to see you again in like a month!! :)

And to finish this post, here is a video of the ONLY Dallas Green cover that does his song justice. Enjoy!

Raisin Bran

I wish I didn't always get the urge to pick all of the raisins out of the Raisin Bran box..

That way, I wouldn't have to be disappointed when I only get a few in my cereal bowl.

Yesterday, I had to partake in the conversation that I had been dreading to have..

My dad called me to ask me whether or not I wanted to go say goodbye to my grandfather. He told me that if I didn't go either last night or this morning, I may not have the chance to do so. The reason he asked was because he thought that maybe I would like to have a happier last memory of him. Obviously, I wanted to go say goodbye, even though he was not awake.

I called my boss and asked him if I could leave work early. I picked up my brother and we got to the hospital around 10:30pm. The second that I saw him lying there, tears filled my eyes.

Who was this man lying in front of me? He looks nothing like my grandpa and is not acting a thing like the cheery grandpa that I'm used to seeing.

He looked lifeless, apart from the fact that he was breathing heavily.

I wasn't exactly sure what do, so I held his hand, I kissed him on the forehead, I told him that I love him.

I'm gonna miss him once he's gone, but I'll remember all of the good times we had, and I'll be happy to know that he's no longer suffering.

Je t'aime, grandpapa. ♥

One more month!

And I go back to Toronto!

August 18th. I'm so exciteddddd!

This weekend, I completed my CPR course, which literally killed me. Okay, not literally. But it was 8:30-5:30 on Saturday and Sunday. It was exhausting. But it's done now, and I got 48/50 on the test but somehow managed to think that I failed. I do that sometimes.

I'm currently discovering new music.

I love music so much. It makes me want to dust off my guitar and get goooooood.

But I always give up when I try to teach myself new songs, so I need somebody to teach me.

I also want to start shooting, but I feel like the same thing is going to happen.

I was thinking about my future the other day, and I think that I might want to live in Vancouver in a couple of years. I love Canada, for obvious reasons, but I don't like super cold winters and I'd really like to live by the water. However, I don't think I could live in the Maritimes. So maybe B.C. would work out for me. Who knows! I'll have to go visit sometime.

I also want to go backpacking around the world, but I'm not sure when I would have the time or money to do that. I'm hoping that my career will involve sending me to random places for free!

In case you haven't noticed, I'm really tired hence the all-over-the-place post.

I'm gonna go hop in the shower now.

Hope you had a good weekend! :)

Love.

Words cannot describe...

How amazing Dallas' show was last night.

About three songs in, it started raining - and it made the show three times as epic as it would have been without it. Honestly, holy crap. It reminded me of this picture I saw from Obama's inauguration, haha. (random)

Although Dallas did not see me in the crowd during "The Girl", I was leaning on Matt, and he sang his own version of the song in my ear.. It was really cute. Not gonna lie, I teared up.

It was a really, really good time. Before the show, we got some dinner, split an amazing beaver tail, went for a drink, then Matt bought a City & Colour shirt that we're going to be sharing next year :)

Dallas played amazingly, as per usual. He had a band with him this time, which gave me huge chills. The whole crowd got really into it, and it was more of an interactive concert than just us watching him. Definitely a night I will not forget.

Well, I could go on forever, so I'll stop now. But Lev, be prepared to have an amazing time in August :) ♥

Love.

Eighteen hours from now...

Dallas Green will step on stage.

He will spot me in the crowd.

Stare me in the eye while he sings "The Girl".

Once the song is over, he will ask, in front of everybody, "Excuse me, beautiful. What's your name?"

I'll point to myself, "Me?!"

"Duh!"

I'll run up on stage, and whisper my name into his ear.

We will fall in love.

He will sing to me as I fall asleep every night until I die.

The end.

Hahaha, I'm such a fool.

I'll let you know how that one works out tomorrow night.

Love!

Stole this from Lev's Tumblr.

She's so lucky, she's a star.

I've always wondered why certain things happen to certain people.

Why, for example, do one hundred horrible things happen to Person A, but in Person B's entire lifetime, the worst thing they had to experience was dealing with the loss of their bunny when they were eight years old.

Some might answer that question by saying that bad things happen to good people because they are strong enough to deal with it.

But what if Person A really wasn't? What if they break down every night after coming home from their dead-end job because the death of their two parents still hurts just as much as it did the night that it happened?

I'm not saying that I'm Person A, nor am I Person B... I guess I'm somewhere in between.

I'm just really curious to know how the world works.

How do some people get so incredibly lucky while others, who work very hard and have the biggest hearts, end up stuck in unfortunate situations every other day.

Just some food for thought, I guess.

The lights will inspire you.

I'm going back to Toronto in a little over a month. I'm so excited.

Before I go back though, I really really really want to go camping or to a cottage.

Hopefully that will happen soon!

I also need to get my CPR course done, but I keep forgetting to sign up for it.

Come to think of it, I'm gonna do that now.

Love.

Love Love Love

Every time I see a cute picture like this one, I wish that I was smaller so that I could have cute moments like this too ♥

By the way.

Just to clear things up...

I don't post things on my blog because I want people to "feel bad" for me.

Blogging is just my way of getting things off my chest.

When I post something and re-read it, I see things in a different light. It's neat, really.

Anyway, that's all!

Hope you're having a good weekend so far!

Love

I went to the gym tonight.

As I was pulling back into my driveway, my dad called me..

My step mom's mom is not doing well.

As a matter of fact, yesterday afternoon, the doctors told them that she only had a few hours to live. She's still hanging in there, but my dad doesn't think she'll last much longer.

After hanging up the phone with him, I went for a run.

I worked a nine hour day, went to the gym, then decided to go for a run.

I'm exhausted.

But all I want to do right now is keep running.

I want to feel alive.

Fuck. Life is too short..

Bonjour!

Even though it's only eleven and I'm already home for the night, tonight has by far been the best Canada Day I've had in a while. Such good times!

I am going to sleep a happy woman! :)

Happy birthday Canadaaaaa! ♥

Love Love Love!

"Life is not a fairytale. If you want something, you have to fight for it."

-Taylor Shields

Live. Love. Laugh.

Every day, we take chances.

From the moment you walk out your front door, anything could happen..

Hit by a car, randomly shot, mugged or raped or struck by a lightning bolt.

There's also the chance of you getting any form of cancer, having a heart attack or being diagnosed with a disease that you may have never even heard of.

What I'm getting at, is that we're all going to die.

Most of us assume that we'll grow old and die of old age. We'll have fulfilled all of our dreams, have four grand-children and have a cute old husband or wife by our side.

Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

Criminals exist. Incurable diseases exist. Natural disasters exist.

And there's nothing we can do about that.

What you can do, though, is live everyday like it's your last.

Remind the people you love that you love them, everyday.

Don't live with regrets.

Work towards achieving your goals.

Live your life to the fullest.

"Live it up today, because you may never see tomorrow."

--------

This post may sound morbid, but that wasn't my intention.

Yesterday, I realized how short life can be.. And I would hate to leave this world without letting the people I love know how much they have shaped me into who I am today.

With that being said, I want to give a huge thanks to all of my friends, my family, and to Matt. ♥

Random late night post.

It's almost 3am and I'm not really tired.

I'm singing some Dallas Green and thinking about life.

No, I am not drunk.

Random thought: I can't wait to go back to school.. It's weird, when you're in school, you can't wait until summer. You think that working and doing nothing is going to be AMAZING. But after three weeks of this "amazingness," you get sick of it (well, I do/did) and now I can't wait to go back and learn.

God, I'm such a nerd.

My favourite part about going back to school is school shopping - not for clothes, but for school supplies! Binders and pens and paper and an agenda and all that dorky stuff. :)

Two and a half more months! (Because I move back on August 17th for RA training).

So. Stoked.

Goodnight!

Love.

I've been sick for two weeks..

It sucks.

Oh, and it seems like every single time I finish blowing my nose (which is often, by the way), I sneeze. Then I have to blow it again. WHY?! haha.

Anyways, I went to the library today and got three new books. Lev, I got one called "Good in Bed" by Jennifer Weiner (It's not about sex, promise :P). But anyways, I've only read the first page and I can already tell that I'm gonna like it, so if you want, check it out! :)

Time for me to go to work..

Love.

Earthquake? Wha?!

My friend Anna's washing machine often makes loud noises when it's too full, so this afternoon, as we were watching One Tree Hill, we assumed that the unusual sound we hear was that. After about a millisecond, we turned to each other and freaked out. Her little sister was in the basement with us, and she said "DOOR WAY!" literally 30 times. Anna held both of us as we stood under the door frame and pretty much cried. I thought I was going to die.

Hahaha. We're amazing.

Once it was over, we ran outside to see if anybody else was freaking out. Nobody. We went to her neighbours, and she was super chill about it.

A few minutes later though, that same neighbour ran into Anna's house and was panicking because both cell phones and land lines weren't working. Cell phones didn't start working properly until about an hour afterwards.

Anyways, long story short, a 5.0 (originally dubbed a 5.7) magnitude hit pretty much all of Central Ontario - North Bay, Ottawa, Toronto, and (I know this isn't in Ontario) Montreal.

It's funny to see how we reacted when these things happen in other countries around the world every day. But I'm definitely glad I got to witness that, cause it definitely doesn't happen around here very often (and hopefully it stays that way).

Love.

Fat ass at heart.

Tonight I decided to go to gym. I went for about an hour. I felt good.

When I got home, after my shower though, guess what I did..

I ate!

Ice cream and a half of a slice of pizza. Bahaha.

Best part is, I don't even care.

Here's my logic: I probably would have eaten that anyway, so at least I went to the gym to cancel the junk food out :)

I think I'll always be fat, but I'm okay with that!

Love.

Life Updates!

I apologize for being M.I.A. pretty much since summer started. I'll try to hop back on the blogging wagon and get some posts up!

Work has been pretty crazy because one of our receptionists quit, which means that her best friend that works with me did too. Therefore, we are only seven people now instead of nine. Because of that, I'm working a boatload, and am closing every day but one this week. Great. That was sarcastic, but it won't be once I get my paycheck :)

Apart from that, I've been hanging out with friends! I took Matt out for his birthday dinner on Thursday, and we came back to my place and had some cake & ice cream and watched "Shutter Island" afterwards. If you haven't seen it yet, it's pretty good until the end. We were both kind of like... WTF. Those kinds of movies are kind of disappointing, but this one had a pretty good twist. I don't really know what I'm saying, so I'm gonna stop talking about it now!

On Friday night, I took Matt go-karting with a few of our friends. It was my first time and I had a really good time! The place we went to apparently isn't the best, but it was outside, so that was cool. About ten minutes in I totally lost control of my wheel and went through some grass, then back on to the track. I was so confused, haha. Afterwards, we went to one of our friends' place and played some old school Nintendo on a projector outside, then went to a bar that we used to go to years ago.

Yesterday, I went to go visit my grandfather in the hospital for Father's Day. He got transfered to a hospital that is known as the one where people go to die.. Kind of upsetting. It's weird, he looks like a different man.. Like, physically. Not only because he's tired and in pain, but I don't even know how to explain it. He just looks different.

There's my little update!

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do for my fourth year. Matt told me yesterday that he's probably going to be staying in Toronto the summer to fourth year.. I'm not entirely sure what to do. I mean, I'd obviously survive if we didn't live in the same city for a summer, but he got me thinking that maybe that's what I should be doing too, just because it's true - you gotta think two steps ahead if you want to get somewhere in life. But then there's the money issue, and all that good stuff.

This post is going to be far too long, so I'm gonna cut it here.

Hope everybody is doing well!

I'll post some more soon, promise! ♥

Love.

22 years ago, today...

My handsome, intelligent, all-around amazing boyfriend was born.

Happy

Birthday

Baby!

I feel like there's so much that I could say, but instead, I'll just summarize it with this:

You have my heart. Forever.

♥

Burk's Falls, Ontario

Is where I spent my weekend.

A bunch of RA's [Resident Assistants] from residence met up at one of their cottages on Friday evening, and spent the weekend there. It was exactly what I needed, to get away.

It started with me rushing home after work at 1pm on Friday to shower, then Matt and I took off at around 2. The drive was about five hours long, but we got to drive through Algonquin Park, and oh my goodness, it was amazing. Every five minutes, we would pass by another gorgeous lake. There were so many beautiful trees and birds. It was awesome.

We got there, opened up our first drinks, and waited for everyone else to arrive. Then we made dinner, drank some more and went swimming in the FREEZING cold lake. I'm pretty sure that's when my cold started. In total, I think I sneezed about 60 times in those two and a half days.. I don't think that's normal. Haha.

On Saturday, we made a HUGE breakfast, went out in the boat, and went tubing. I don't know if you've ever been tubing, but it's probably the best thing to do at a cottage. So much fun. Then all 9 of us took a long nap, woke up and made dinner, then sat out by the fire until we all got tired and cold.

All in all, it was a relaxing weekend and I'm so happy that I decided to go.

Apart from that, I decided to change my blog layout, and I'm not sure if I like it yet. I feel as though my picture should be longer, but oh well.

Sunflowers remind me of positivity because they're so bright and pretty. Plus the blue sky reminds me that not every day is a shitty storm.

Anyways, I'm pretty tired, so I think I'm going to snuggle up with a book until I fall asleep.

Goodnight!

Love.

With you on my mind & my heart held in your hand..

It made me sad to watch this part of an interview with my all-time favourite artist:

Interviewer: if this doesnt work out, you have a whole other career on your own that you can fall back on. is there a sense of security and gratification that comes with that?

Dallas: no, you dont know me very well. i have absolutely no faith in myself, it doesnt matter how many people -

Interviewer: what would it take for you to have faith in yourself?

Dallas: nothing. no matter how many records i sell or how many awards i win or anything like that, it will never change the fact that i still dont sleep at night because i dont know if what im doing is good enough. and its not about me having like a ‘woe is me’ attitude, its just who i am.

--

Well D. Green, hangout with me after your FREE SHOW (thank you, so so so much for doing that BY THE WAY!) and I'll give you a little faith in yourself ;) haha, not sure what that's supposed to mean. But I love this man so much. God. So amazing.

I listened to him all night while I was cleaning my room. Mmm.

I'm crazy. I know. He's just.. so lovely. ♥

Sometimes I re-read my blog and ask myself, "Why did I post this?"

Pink - Family Portrait

This song pretty much combines two different parts of my life.

I don't really like to talk about my family, but here's the gist of it:

My parents got divorced when I was six.
Since then, my "family" (my mom, step-dad, step-brothers) has been fucked.
Lets just say, I chose to go away to school for a reason much greater than meeting new people and having more career opportunities.

Living in a house that can be compared to war zone has taught me a lot..

Anyways! Here are the lyrics:

Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful
And it's tearin' me down

I hear glasses breakin'
As I sit up in my bed
I told Dad you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said

You fight about money
'Bout me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter

It ain't easy, growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we?)
Can we be a family?
(Can we?)
I promise I'll be better
(I promise)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(I'll do anything)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
Daddy, please don't leave

Daddy please stop yelling
(Stop)
I can't stand the sound
(Can't stand the sound)
Make Mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around

My mama, she loves you
(I know it)
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too

I ran away today
Ran from the noise, ran away
(Ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way

It ain't easy growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
That I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
(I don't want love to destroy me)
Like it did my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we work it?)
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise I'll do anything)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(To keep you better)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise, I promise)
Daddy, please don't leave
(Stay)

In our family portrait
(In our family portrait)
We look pretty happy
(We look pretty happy)
Let's play pretend
(Let's play pretend)
Let's act like it comes naturally
(That's right)
(That's right)

I don't wanna have to split the holidays
(No, no)
I don't want two addresses
(No)
I don't want a stepbrother anyways
And I don't want my Mommy
Have to change her last name!

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
We look pretty normal
Let's go back to that

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend
Act like it goes naturally

Just a vacancy.

I wish I wasn't jealous.
It drives me crazy when I feel a slight hint of jealousy because it makes me feel insecure and like I don't trust you.
But I'm not insecure, and I do trust you.

I don't even know if it's jealousy, or if I just don't like her (which I don't).

OH WELL.

Anyways, I'm reading a book called "Love the one you're with" (thanks for the recommendation, Lev!) and I really like it so far.
I went out for breakfast this morning with someone I used to work with. It was nice to catch up.
I work at 4, and really don't want to go.
I'm tired and want to spend the whole day in bed.

Absolutely disgusting.

There's a toddler in Indonesia who smokes cigarettes. He's two years old and smokes two packs per day. When he doesn't get his smokes, he throws temper tantrums and hits his head on things. His father gave him his first cigarette when he was 18 months old.

WHAT THE HELL!

I'm aware that their culture is much different than ours, but common! Two years old?! So disturbing.
PLUS, he weighs 55 lbs and is obviously overweight and unhealthy. He rides on some toy car because he can't walk or run like other kids.

I legitimately feel bad for this child. Hopefully Children's Aid takes him away from the family.

Btw, whoever named this video has issues.. "funny?"
I personally don't think so..

I'm just a fool...

A fool in love with you.

I want breakfast so bad..

But it's 1230am.. Approximately 10 hours before I plan on waking up.
I can't wait.





I think I'm gonna go to sleep now so that it comes faster.
Hahaha, I have no life.

I'm a dollar short.

I'm so relaxed right now. It feels amazing.

Last night, a group of my friends went to our friend Adam's place to hang out. It was nice to see everyone! We listened to music, drank, and talked about the world (literally, we spoke about what's going on in the news. it was amazing. i love having serious conversations like that with my friends.) Anyways, afterwards, a few of us went to Phil's house and we watched the A Day to Remember tour video. It was funny.

I worked from 4-9, and have been chilling in my bed ever since. I'm in a really good mood and am enjoying being by myself. I might try to write some music, and if that doesn't work, there's an article that I've been wanting to write since the beginning of second year. Maybe I'll start gathering ideas for that.

Anyways, that's been my long weekend.
Hope yours is going well! :)

Love.

What the f***...

Here's an article about a gay couple in Malawi that are being imprisoned for up to fourteen years..

Seriously, I'd love to march my white ass over there, and scream at them to grow up & mind their own business.

A fourteen year sentence, really? That's only ten years less than a life sentence.. A LIFE SENTENCE FOR HAVING KILLED SOMEBODY! BRUTAL MURDER. DISMEMBERMENT. RAPE.

Now I'm not a judge, but uh... being in love with somebody of the same sex does not, at all, WHATSOEVER, compare to having raped or murdered another individual.

Who the hell decided that love could be sinful?

Fuck! What's the hell is wrong with the world?

A word of advice from Dallas

When all your friends have come and gone
And the sun no longer shines
And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide
When all the hard times outweigh the good
And all your words are misunderstood
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart.

Cute!

(You have to click on it to read the whole thing.. My page is too narrow. My B.)

Today's horoscope.

"You might find yourself doing a bit of thinking about some of the deeper aspects of life today. And you may encounter other people who help to change some of your current views. You ought to be expressing yourself rather easily at the moment, and you should be able to get to the bottom of many different things right now."

So weird.
Leviana, thanks for being that person. :) LOVE YOU girly!

I'm in over my head.

Good day!

My apologies again for my confusing ramble last night.

The whole thing started with me thinking about my grandfather. My dad's dad is an outgoing, positive, funny man. He cracks jokes all the time, is full of energy, and has the cutest old man laugh. A few years ago, they found cancer in his lung. Because of that, they had to cut off half of one of his lungs.. Everything seemed to be going well, until (I believe) around the end of 2009. They found more cancer spots in his lungs. About a month ago, my dad called me with the news that the cancer had spread to his spinal cord. For those of you who don't know much about cancer, once it gets into the bone, it can lead straight to the brain. I saw my grandpa this past weekend, and he wasn't the same man. He's in constant pain, he can't do much, his memory is going, he barely laughed, and he couldn't stay awake for much longer than an hour. It's really hard to see somebody that you love go through all of this.. Before we left, my grandma, aunt and dad talked about funeral arrangements. That was really tough. My grandparents live alone in a cottage somewhere in the country. Although they have friends in their little neighbourhood, I don't see my grandmother having much strength once he's gone. Unlike many people I know, I luckily still have all of my grandparents. I don't want to see any of them go..

Anyways, not only has that been going through my mind since I've left on Saturday afternoon, but a lot of things have changed since I've been home for the summer.

Then, was my future. Last night, I realized that I have no experience in my field. Thankfully, I have my internship in my fourth year that will be very helpful, but I'm not the only university student who's currently studying journalism, and there definitely is not a job for each and every one of us once we graduate. I need to start focusing on getting my foot in the door, and determining exactly what it is I want to do, because I definitely don't want to waste my internship opportunity with something that I completely despise.

I guess these are some of the things that can explain last night's post. I'm feeling a lot better about everything, and am trying to keep my head up.

Smiles are much prettier than frowns :)

Love.

I could really use a wish right now.

So much has been running through my head lately.
They're not even complete thoughts, just fragments of them.
They're not necessarily negative or depressing, but they're not optimistic or enjoyable either.
I want to sit here and write for hours, but I don't know where to start.
My mind is a mess.
I wish I knew how to clear it.
I want to go for a run, but it's 11pm and I'm not really into rape or mugging..
I want, and need to get away. By myself. For two days.
Sitting in the sun, watching the waves hit my feet.
Thinking about everything, but at the same time, thinking about nothing.
I want to be lifeless, just for a little while. Feel nothing. Think nothing. Do nothing.
Not having to worry about what day or time it is, what people think of me, what my purpose in life is. No thoughts. Just me.

I feel like I'm on drugs, though I wouldn't know what that feels like..
I don't know what I feel.


I'm sorry that this post makes absolutely no sense, whatsoever.
Bleh.

Days off work are the best.

This summer, my two days off seem to be Wednesday and Thursday. Random, I know.
These past two days have been really good though!

Yesterday, I went to the movies and saw Date Night (not as good as I expected it to be, by the way), went biking with Anna, watched the second period of the game at Lizz's, biked back to Anna's during intermission and watched the rest of the game there. Montreal played amazingly and beat Pittsburgh 5-2. HECK YES. On the news this morning, they were saying that even though the cops were ready, and the main "club" street was closed, Montreal still went wild. Last year, they flipped cars, broke store windows, were beating each other up.. Literally a riot. Last night, it was still a little hectic. Store windows were broken, beer bottles were thrown at cops, and all of that good stuff. 28 (at least I'm pretty sure that's the number) people were arrested. I wanted to be there so bad, haha. Anyways, though they didn't win the Cup YET, I'm sure they'll defeat the Bruins tomorrow night. After the game, I came home, did my little work out, then went to sleep.

Today, all I've done so far is tan. I went outside at around noon [ohhh my god. a scary bug just started flying around my room.. no idea where he came from, or where he is now. I'm scared.] Okay, anyways, I went out at around noon and stayed out there for a good hour. When I got back in though, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that the front of my body was MUCH darker than the back.. Awesome. Because I don't want to look like an idiot, I decided I should go back out and lay on my stomach for twenty minutes. Of course five minutes into my second tanning session, the clouds started rolling in, and didn't go away. So I came back in, took a shower, made some eggs, and started my laundry.

Now I'm here, and am going to try to figure out which elective I want to take next semester..

Love.

New things!

Hellooo!

So since I've been home, I've been spending the money that I don't have on clothing.. Luckily though, everything (except for the first tank top) has been on sale! Since that's pretty much all I've been doing so far this summer, I figured I would post pictures of my new purchases :)

Enjoy!







WARNING! Ashlee's body may or may not be exposed in the next photo. Don't scroll down if you puke at the sight of flab! hahaha.







(By the way, can you tell how awkward I felt taking this picture by my pose? haha)

And it's reversible! :)
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This is my tired face. I'm doing my crunches then going to bed.
Goodnight! ♥

So sad..

The OSPCA shelter in Newmarket is putting all of their animals down because of a ringworm outbreak.. They have over 350 animals.

:(

If you feel like reading about it: http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/807569--york-ospca-to-euthanize-hundreds-of-animals?bn=1

Today has been a shitty day.

My friend cut my hair - I now look like a boy and lack any type of self-confidence.
I look like I gained ten pounds - see ya again, self-confidence.
Work was long, boring and lonely. When my shift was supposed to be over, my boss decided it was time for him to go to Costco.. I was the only person there, so obviously, I had to stay.. for an extra three hours.
I sat in my room with my door locked, and did nothing all night.
Waited for someone to come hang out with me for a bit, hoping they'd cheer me up, and they forgot to show up.

I know, it obviously could have been a lot worse, but I just wanted to rant before I go to sleep.

Goodnight.

I need you here with me. ♥

Do you remember when days were like that?

Helloooo. Sorry for the lack of posts, Katie. (haha).

I've been really busy with work, working out, and seeing friends.
Today, I worked from 10am-8pm, came home, went for a run, showered, then cleaned a large portion of my house. I am exhausted.

I don't really have any life updates or anything. Well, none that I really want to share online for everyone to read.

I'm starting to learn piano. It's not as difficult as I thought it would be.

I went shopping and bought a fake leather jacket, a tank top, a tube top and a yellow polka dot bikini.
I love all of them :)

That's literally all that I've got.. I'm so tired that I can't even think. Blah.

Goodnight blog world.
Hopefully something exciting will occur so that I can post more.

Kay bye!

Marks are up!

And I'm so happy! :) Here they are:

78 in Desire and Discontent (and I'm almost positive I failed the final..)

86 in Presentation and Persuasion

87 in Subcultures in the Mainstream Media

88 in Digital Design (which is actually, according to my course website supposed to be an 89)

91 in Radio Broadcasting.

86% average this semester!
85% average second year!

(Lev, I totally stole your post idea, haha. Sorry, love you!)

Anyways, I'm going out now :)

LOVE! (Capitals because I'm in a good mooooood!)
♥

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
- Winnie the Pooh.

I've gotta catch my breath.

Summer time!

Hello!

It is SUMMER TIME. ♥

I've been home since Sunday, and on Monday, I was out in my backyard tanning in my bikini. Yesterday, however, it was SNOWING, here in the capital. Yes, snow. Legit flakes. Falling from the sky. It was SO weird. I had to take my winter jacket out. Today, I'm heading to the beach with a couple of my friends. This world is fucked. haha.

Anyways, I haven't been doing much since I've been home. Catching up with friends, going to appointments, getting my job back, working out... Which reminds me, I've lost 2 pounds in the past 2 days. (I only know because Wii Fit told me, lol.) Pretty sweet though! I was excited.

That's pretty much all what is new with me.
Matt comes home on Saturday! :) I'm really excited ♥

Okay, well I'm heading to the beach now.

Love!

Rah, Rah, Rah-ah-ah.

I have Bad Romance stuck in my head.
Somebody help me get it out of there.

I don't really know what to do with myself.
It's almost 2am and I'm not really tired, but I don't want to study. Dilemma?
If it were next year, I would definitely playing my Super Nintendo. But it's not. So obviously, that is not an option.

Today, I went for a walk with my boy in the school's arboretum. It was pretty. :)
Then I studied for my desire and discontent exam.
I feel like it's going to be really easy, so that's always a good sign.
I'm excited that I'm done on Saturday.
I'm also excited to clean and re-organize my room at home.

I just realized that I'm typing these random thoughts as though this was a song.
Evidently, this is not the case.
I don't know why I'm writing this.
I guess I'm just bored.

Maybe I'll try studying some more.
Okay. Seeeeee ya!

Love.

In five days...

I will be done my second out of four years of university.
I have my first exam tomorrow at 3:25, then my second (and last) one on Saturday at 11:45.
Then I leave on Sunday morning.
I still haven't started packing, though I really should. Maybe I will do that after my exam tomorrow.
By the way, we're allowed to bring a cheat sheet for tomorrow's exam, and mine is BOMB.
Took me forever to make, but whatevs.
Anyways, I'm gonna look over my notes again, just in case.
BTW, good luck on your exam tomorrow Leviana! (Since you're the only one who reads this, ahaha)

Love.

I love nice days :)

Date night with the boy!

Off the to the Rainforest Cafe with Matt :)
Bye!

Just take my hand, hold it tight.

Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more.
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always. ♥

A few pictures from our mini adventure.

My attempt at a 'cool' photo, aha. Fail.


Myspace mirror shot in the creepy basement.



(The rest are for Matt. So, don't look at them if you hate pictures of couples kissing.)



I like this one, even though I totally missed.

Photography.

As a journalism student, I've learnt that you kind of need to be a jack of all trades in order to be successful in the industry.

Newspapers don't sell as much as they once did. Everything is going online. That means that thousands of jobs across the world are going to/are being cut because they won't need half as many of the people that they have now.

Partly because of this, and partly because my boyfriend is a photographer, I've been thinking of taking up photography. I think I have the eye for it, I just don't know how to work a fancy camera. F-stops confuse me. I have absolutely no idea how to work a light meter, and to me, a cookie is eatable, not something that projects colours into the background of a photo, or whatever it actually does.

Anyways, I went out on a little urban exploration adventure with Matt today, and while we were out, I thought of all of the pictures that he's taken of the place.

I think it would be neat to get myself either a digital Canon camera, or an SLR.
So I looked at the Henry's (a store that sells cameras, lenses, etc.) website, and I almost cried at how expensive everything was. Obviously I knew that cameras aren't cheap - at all - but holy moses!

From this, I concluded that this potential hobby of mine will have to go on hold for a little while.. Ah well.

Love.

Haha, Matt and I were just laughing about the original last night.

Love.

Life is beautiful.

You know that feeling when, even though life is so hectic, you're in an incredible mood?

That's me right now :)

I feel productive (though I'm not actually).

The weather is amazing.

I'm listening to some sweet tunes.

I have a wonderful boy who makes my heart smile.

I'm so excited to be an RA next year.

School is almost done.

La vita e bella! ♥

Waaaaant!

Bloggers Anonymous.

Leviana tagged me in a note called "Bloggers Anonymous." The rules are to introduce yourself, then tag three other people to do the same!

My name is Ashlee :)

I'm nineteen.

I'm from Ottawa (♥). I go to school in Toronto and am studying Media/Journalism.

I feel extremely privileged to a) be living in Canada, b) have the opportunity to study post-secondary, especially away from home, c) have an amazing family/boyfriend/group of friends among many other things.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I don't dwell on regrets.

I love the idea of believing in God, but I'm not sure I do.. I'm weird.

I love everything about music.

I'm very emotional when it comes to romantic films (haha)

I'm afraid of clowns.

I'm also afraid to "grow up" and start a career, get married, start a family, etc. but I have a boy who makes me feel a lot better about it all :) ♥

I have a bucket list, and hope to be able to complete it before I'm 45.

I'm independent, compassionate and I like to give everybody at least one chance.

Now I don't know how to tag people, so I guess I will not be doing that! Haha.

Love.