Fat ass at heart.

Tonight I decided to go to gym. I went for about an hour. I felt good.

When I got home, after my shower though, guess what I did..

I ate!

Ice cream and a half of a slice of pizza. Bahaha.

Best part is, I don't even care.

Here's my logic: I probably would have eaten that anyway, so at least I went to the gym to cancel the junk food out :)

I think I'll always be fat, but I'm okay with that!

Love.

Life Updates!

I apologize for being M.I.A. pretty much since summer started. I'll try to hop back on the blogging wagon and get some posts up!

Work has been pretty crazy because one of our receptionists quit, which means that her best friend that works with me did too. Therefore, we are only seven people now instead of nine. Because of that, I'm working a boatload, and am closing every day but one this week. Great. That was sarcastic, but it won't be once I get my paycheck :)

Apart from that, I've been hanging out with friends! I took Matt out for his birthday dinner on Thursday, and we came back to my place and had some cake & ice cream and watched "Shutter Island" afterwards. If you haven't seen it yet, it's pretty good until the end. We were both kind of like... WTF. Those kinds of movies are kind of disappointing, but this one had a pretty good twist. I don't really know what I'm saying, so I'm gonna stop talking about it now!

On Friday night, I took Matt go-karting with a few of our friends. It was my first time and I had a really good time! The place we went to apparently isn't the best, but it was outside, so that was cool. About ten minutes in I totally lost control of my wheel and went through some grass, then back on to the track. I was so confused, haha. Afterwards, we went to one of our friends' place and played some old school Nintendo on a projector outside, then went to a bar that we used to go to years ago.

Yesterday, I went to go visit my grandfather in the hospital for Father's Day. He got transfered to a hospital that is known as the one where people go to die.. Kind of upsetting. It's weird, he looks like a different man.. Like, physically. Not only because he's tired and in pain, but I don't even know how to explain it. He just looks different.

There's my little update!

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do for my fourth year. Matt told me yesterday that he's probably going to be staying in Toronto the summer to fourth year.. I'm not entirely sure what to do. I mean, I'd obviously survive if we didn't live in the same city for a summer, but he got me thinking that maybe that's what I should be doing too, just because it's true - you gotta think two steps ahead if you want to get somewhere in life. But then there's the money issue, and all that good stuff.

This post is going to be far too long, so I'm gonna cut it here.

Hope everybody is doing well!

I'll post some more soon, promise! ♥

Love.

22 years ago, today...

My handsome, intelligent, all-around amazing boyfriend was born.

Happy

Birthday

Baby!

I feel like there's so much that I could say, but instead, I'll just summarize it with this:

You have my heart. Forever.

♥

Burk's Falls, Ontario

Is where I spent my weekend.

A bunch of RA's [Resident Assistants] from residence met up at one of their cottages on Friday evening, and spent the weekend there. It was exactly what I needed, to get away.

It started with me rushing home after work at 1pm on Friday to shower, then Matt and I took off at around 2. The drive was about five hours long, but we got to drive through Algonquin Park, and oh my goodness, it was amazing. Every five minutes, we would pass by another gorgeous lake. There were so many beautiful trees and birds. It was awesome.

We got there, opened up our first drinks, and waited for everyone else to arrive. Then we made dinner, drank some more and went swimming in the FREEZING cold lake. I'm pretty sure that's when my cold started. In total, I think I sneezed about 60 times in those two and a half days.. I don't think that's normal. Haha.

On Saturday, we made a HUGE breakfast, went out in the boat, and went tubing. I don't know if you've ever been tubing, but it's probably the best thing to do at a cottage. So much fun. Then all 9 of us took a long nap, woke up and made dinner, then sat out by the fire until we all got tired and cold.

All in all, it was a relaxing weekend and I'm so happy that I decided to go.

Apart from that, I decided to change my blog layout, and I'm not sure if I like it yet. I feel as though my picture should be longer, but oh well.

Sunflowers remind me of positivity because they're so bright and pretty. Plus the blue sky reminds me that not every day is a shitty storm.

Anyways, I'm pretty tired, so I think I'm going to snuggle up with a book until I fall asleep.

Goodnight!

Love.

With you on my mind & my heart held in your hand..

It made me sad to watch this part of an interview with my all-time favourite artist:

Interviewer: if this doesnt work out, you have a whole other career on your own that you can fall back on. is there a sense of security and gratification that comes with that?

Dallas: no, you dont know me very well. i have absolutely no faith in myself, it doesnt matter how many people -

Interviewer: what would it take for you to have faith in yourself?

Dallas: nothing. no matter how many records i sell or how many awards i win or anything like that, it will never change the fact that i still dont sleep at night because i dont know if what im doing is good enough. and its not about me having like a ‘woe is me’ attitude, its just who i am.

--

Well D. Green, hangout with me after your FREE SHOW (thank you, so so so much for doing that BY THE WAY!) and I'll give you a little faith in yourself ;) haha, not sure what that's supposed to mean. But I love this man so much. God. So amazing.

I listened to him all night while I was cleaning my room. Mmm.

I'm crazy. I know. He's just.. so lovely. ♥

Sometimes I re-read my blog and ask myself, "Why did I post this?"

Pink - Family Portrait

This song pretty much combines two different parts of my life.

I don't really like to talk about my family, but here's the gist of it:

My parents got divorced when I was six.
Since then, my "family" (my mom, step-dad, step-brothers) has been fucked.
Lets just say, I chose to go away to school for a reason much greater than meeting new people and having more career opportunities.

Living in a house that can be compared to war zone has taught me a lot..

Anyways! Here are the lyrics:

Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful
And it's tearin' me down

I hear glasses breakin'
As I sit up in my bed
I told Dad you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said

You fight about money
'Bout me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter

It ain't easy, growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we?)
Can we be a family?
(Can we?)
I promise I'll be better
(I promise)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(I'll do anything)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
Daddy, please don't leave

Daddy please stop yelling
(Stop)
I can't stand the sound
(Can't stand the sound)
Make Mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around

My mama, she loves you
(I know it)
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too

I ran away today
Ran from the noise, ran away
(Ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way

It ain't easy growin' up in World War III
Never knowin' what love could be
That I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
(I don't want love to destroy me)
Like it did my family

Can we work it out?
(Can we work it?)
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise I'll do anything)
Mommy, I'll do anything
(To keep you better)

Can we work it out?
Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better
(I promise, I promise)
Daddy, please don't leave
(Stay)

In our family portrait
(In our family portrait)
We look pretty happy
(We look pretty happy)
Let's play pretend
(Let's play pretend)
Let's act like it comes naturally
(That's right)
(That's right)

I don't wanna have to split the holidays
(No, no)
I don't want two addresses
(No)
I don't want a stepbrother anyways
And I don't want my Mommy
Have to change her last name!

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
We look pretty normal
Let's go back to that

In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend
Act like it goes naturally